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Counselling For Self-Esteem In Southampton

Low self esteem is when we place little value on ourselves. We may have developed a negative view of life, which can make it seem hopeless or pointless.

We may spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others, thinking that we are worthless and that others are much better than ourselves, which affects our confidence.

Sometimes it can leave us feeling that people are taking advantage of us.


Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. If you have low self-esteem you may feel:

  • You hate or dislike yourself

  • Feel worthless or not good enough

  • Struggle to make decisions or assert yourself

  • Feel no one likes you

  • Blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault

  • Struggle to identify your strengths

  • Guilt for spending time or money on yourself

  • Feel you don’t deserve happiness in your life

  • Low in confidence

What is affecting your self-esteem?

Our self esteem can be impacted by lots of different things - life experiences, our childhood, our family, our relationships. Sometimes there are particular people who make us feel inadequate.

We take on negative beliefs and they affect how we feel about ourselves and our worth.

Our own personalities can influence these beliefs, but sometimes these negative messages can also come from what we see on the media or our interactions on social media. Having a low opinion of yourself can also impact on relationships with others.

"You can't really love someone else until you can love yourself first" Fred Rogers

What you can do to help yourself


Avoid negative self-talk

Become aware of comments to put yourself down then challenge and reframe those thoughts. Learning to identify and challenge your negative self-beliefs can have a positive impact on your self-esteem. It can helpful to ask yourself: “would I talk to, or think about a loved one in such a negative way?”

Avoid comparing yourself to others

This can be difficult, especially when we’re surrounded by images of celebrities and people on social media. But try to remember that what people choose to share about their life isn’t the full picture and comparing ourselves isn’t realistic.

Connect with people who love you

It's not healthy to be around people who treat you badly or don’t appreciate you.

Make an effort to spend more time with people who love you and treat you like you expect to be treated. This can help you to feel good about yourself and challenge your negative thinking.

Do things you enjoy

You could take up a hobby, learn something new, do a creative activity or simply take the time to read a book or go for a walk.

Learn to be assertive

When you don’t like yourself, it’s easy to assume others won’t like you either. You may find you go out of your way to help others as you feel it’s the only way they’ll like you. It can make you feel even worse if this help isn’t reciprocated.

Be kind to yourself

A good deed is great but over stretching yourself to please others can leave you with less energy to focus on yourself and can affect your mental health.

How can therapy for low Self-Esteem help?

Counselling can help you explore the way you feel about yourself and its possible origins, ultimately working to change your view of self and others. Talking to a therapist, where you can be heard and listened to by someone who wants to understand how and why you feel the way you do, without judgement, can be hugely beneficial. Counselling can help you to identify the negative thoughts that have lead to your poor self-belief, considering the impact it is having on your behaviour and interactions with others. It can help you make the changes to develop your self-esteem and confidence. The changes may be small and subtle to begin with, working at a pace which feels right for you.


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